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Elderly Parent Won’t Listen to You? 5 Steps to Help

One of the biggest worries that elderly people have as they age is losing their independence. When it becomes obvious that they need help with tasks around house and with self-care that they’ve managed to do on their own for decades, it can be frustrating and frightening. Often, this is the reason behind why elderly parents won’t listen to advice from their adult children.

Elderly Care Matthews NC - Elderly Parent Won’t Listen to You? 5 Steps to Help

Elderly Care Matthews NC – Elderly Parent Won’t Listen to You? 5 Steps to Help

Worrying about their parent’s safety and health is usually what drives adult children to push their parents into conversations about getting help and moving somewhere more appropriate. They also worry about having to balance elderly care with their own families and responsibilities at work. Add to that the role reversals and age-old power struggles between parents and children and it’s no wonder that many seniors won’t listen to their family members.

Here are 5 things that family caregivers can do when it’s important to break through the barriers set up by elderly parents and communicate with each other.

1. Choose the Right Time

When bringing up big topics, family caregivers should pick a time and place when both parties are relaxed and comfortable. Trying to have an important conversation when someone is stressed, anxious or depressed will not go anywhere.

2. Stay Calm and Be Sensitive

Family caregivers should always approach a big conversation calmly and avoid nagging and arguing. They should use love and logic to present their issues and concerns and avoid being critical. Neither side should ever give ultimatums and avoid saying things they might regret. Using “I” statements help convey their point of view is often more acceptable and doesn’t lead to seniors getting as defensive.

3. Ask Questions and Try to Understand

Instead of getting frustrated with rejection, adult children should try to look at what’s behind the stubbornness. Perhaps the senior is afraid that they will be put into a home, or they worry about a stranger coming in to take care of them. Asking thoughtful questions and trying to understand their point of view can help caregivers find the best approach to a solution.

4. Get Support From Others

Elderly parents may have a hard time taking in advice from an adult child but they may give some serious thought to a message coming a doctor, therapist, clergy member, family friend or other trusted person. However, the senior should not feel that they are being piled on. Instead, the message should be one of love and concern.

5. Stay Persistent

If one conversation doesn’t go well, family caregivers should wait for another opportunity. Most major life decisions and issues regarding health and wellness won’t be decided in just one conversation. Elderly parents may not change their mind for a while, if ever. Until the day comes that they can’t, seniors have the right to make their own decisions. Sometimes it just takes time before they come around and listen to what their adult children have to say.

When adult children and family caregivers focus on positive ways to communicate, then over time their elderly parents will understand that they are respected and loved. It’s then that they may just start to listen.


If you or an aging loved one are considering hiring professional Elderly Care Services in Matthews NC, please call the caring staff at BlueDot Cares today, (704) 586-9248.

Kevin Bilderback

CEO and President at BlueDot Cares
Kevin Bilderback, CEO and President of the BlueDot family of companies, founded BlueDot’s first healthcare company, BlueDot Medical, in 2002.Since then, BlueDot has become one of the fastest growing companies in America and has made Inc. Magazine’s list of fastest growing companies five times ( attributes the growth to hiring amazing people who provide great care and inspire independence in the home.

Kevin’s passion to inspire independence has helped over 40,000 local families regain independence in the home.It was through helping these families that Kevin identified a gaping hole in the health care sector.People want to recover and age at home and current in-home care options make it hard and inefficient to do so.Families have to piece together providers for the needs of their loved ones.

Kevin founded BlueDot Cares to fix this challenge for families.BlueDot’s family of companies provides a synergy of care allowing loved ones to recover or age where they want to – at home.Families can feel comfort that their loved ones not only have the most supportive and best caregivers; but also, they will have the equipment they need to remain safe at home.

BlueDot has grown over the years because Kevin truly cares, the employees care, the referring physicians care, the current clients that refer friends and family to BlueDot CARE!BlueDot is part of the community and is honored to show the community that BlueDot cares through a corporate initiative.For every new BlueDot Cares client, a bed will be purchased for a child in need in the community.

BlueDot cares and will inspire in more ways than one!

For more information on Kevin and BlueDot, please visit his LinkedIn Page (